what matters

Little Cecilia is growing. Isn’t she irresistible? Watching her become rounder, softer in her flesh, more focused in her vision, more present to your holding her. More aware of your love.

And that, that’s what it’s all about.

When I moved to Bath to be near Nika and Scott and the baby, I had to focus on moving THINGS. On setting up HOME. On taking care of practical matters. All important.

Once here, I began to meet people, mainly at the dog park. Everyone was soooo friendly, I felt welcomed and appreciative. And I lived so close that I could go often: lots of dogs, lots of dog owners.

And then, my critical mind came into play: “I thought I liked this person but now I find out ….” And “Not her again”. All the usual. And, you know what? I began to feel lonely. Lonely for friends I’d known longer, who were “better”, of course. And my mood sank.

No, it wasn’t the people at the dog park. It was that messy mind of mine. For a week, my schedule shifted. When I went back I did meet others. But, those ones I was judging so harshly, now I looked forward to seeing again.

They weren’t bigger, plumper, more aware of my love or anything so alluring as with my dear Cecilia. But they… they were offering to me their own kind of love. The possibility of connection that can grow into more caring.

And I realized,

That’s what matters.

With baby, with people, with art,

Awareness of love.