Aaaugh April!

A kind friend asked me about the weather here now. The weather? Asking me? Small joke – I’m ALWAYS talking about the weather. I grew up on a farm. Riding horses, mowing hay, playing in the darn sandpile: weather mattered. So, yeah, now I have a pup. We’re outside a lot. In the weather.

But there is also another kind of weather. We all recognize this one: what’s brewing inside. Calm, not so calm, bloody not calm at all…

And this spring has had its own kind of weather. Like the sunny warm days followed by wet snow: a real push-pull. One day it’s: “Yay about this idea!” The next: “Hmmm, not-so-much.” Have you felt that internal weather? April. Trying to bloom, if only the snow would stop snowing.

In all the frustration/impatience I’ve felt, I’m beginning to see some ideas that feel like they have real pull to them. And that the ungratifying time has been part of finding them. All fresh and new … these ideas are too unformed to be ready for sharing.

Which kind of leaves you, the reader, with me in this early spring stage: acknowledging that most of what’s gonna bloom is still below ground.