I saw a bobcat this morning! It was moving so fast through the woods with it’s stubby tail and strong body. I wanted it to stop so I could make sure that it really was that animal. But it was so clear. Then gone.

Yesterday there was a woodpecker on my redbud tree that is maybe 3-4 feet from my house. I was just about to walk out the door when I saw it hop- peck-hopping its way up the tree. Up close, its markings were so so clear. I’ve only seen them far up in trees before, if I was lucky. Otherwise, it was just the wop-wop-wop of the pecking.

Those are 2 what I would call exciting moments of my week. But honestly, the most exciting is… I think I’m seeing the possibility of actually healing my Lyme. It’s the first shift that I can honestly identify. And the only way to describe it is this: it feels like my hips are connected to my legs. I knew my legs felt heavy and wooden, like there was no fluid in my joints. But when I walk now, there is this fluidity that I haven’t felt in years Just a bit: but more than nothing.

It was at least 7 years ago that I got the sense there was something wrong. I had been running daily for years and I loved to run hills. I actually loved them because they were harder. Which is not to say I was a competitive runner: I ran slowly and not for long, so hills were perfect. If I took time off, when I started up again it felt so good: that challenge to get back up the hill.

But then, something began to feel off. It wasn’t just that the hills were difficut; it became a struggle to run uphill at all. I thought : I used to love it when it was hard. But it was always hard.

I ran slower. I made my steps smaller. I did PT.

And then I got a hip replacement.

The hip replacement brought PAIN. No one knew why. And that was truly disconcerting.

Lyme wasn’t diagnosed until 3 years after that event – which was long after its beginning. By then, the co-infection, babesia, that causes those heavy legs, had years to dig deep.

It’s been a long journey. But what I can say is: fear was a big part of my rigidity. I was bracing against pain.I knew that, but yes, I was afraid.

I woke up this morning. I definitely hurt. I have so much to work through still.

But to feel that change, even so slightly, is such a blessing. It’s like a glimmer. An outbreath.

Maybe after all these years, I will leave stiffness behind and become more flexible. More fluid. And definitely, more relaxed.

I’ve been alongside: the whole journey – Peaches