Are you ever ready for someone close to you to… die? Even if you knew they were facing challenges. Even if you knew they were not as strong as you wanted them to be.

All of that was true for me.

When I first started spending time with Trum (short for Trumbull), after a fun day skiing… he was a ski instructor and I wasn’t that keen on heading downhill on slippery snow… By the end, though, he had me feeling confident, even if it was on the beginner’s slope.

We were driving back from the mountains that day when he gave me one of those sideways glances as he casually mentioned: “I want you to know that I might die soon.”

Wha-a-at? How do I answer that. I then told me he had an issue with his blood, that he had been diagnosed in the mid 90’s. He now was seeing the doctor who was head of stem cell transplant at Dana Farber Hospital.

That was 12? 13 years ago.

During those years we started a business together – working with 2 partners in NYC on a waste to energy project. He moved to CT to manage the building where this was happening. I joined him for a time, but then found the business world far different than my art one. I gravitated to my home in NH.

He drove back and forth – 3-4 hours each way – to visit me for years on end. And then to Maine where I spent a few years to be near my oldest daughter when her children were very young – a 6 or more hour drive. He was with me and my family for Thanksgivings and Christmas before COVID. He drove me to Canada for Hunter’s wedding. And walked with me in that wedding and in Nika’s earlier.

The last 3 years when I spent the cooler months in CT with himI. It became obvious that his health had become challenging. But he didn’t share that with anyone. He didn’t want that to be a subject of conversation.

What he wanted was to be there for others.

So yes. I miss the man.

So now…

There is much to do. Much to take care of… so many pieces of the business to pick up – thank you, my anget daughter, Ariella who flew in from Algeria to help me.

And there’s so much to organize, including his Ceremony of Life, taking place here at Squam Lake mid-August, thank you, my angel daughter, Hunter, who visited after Ariella to set up the plan for that.

Such gifts of time and care.

Samsun and Amanda offered their own sweet gift from afar: the birth of their daugher, Mischa. She was born when? The morning after Trum died.

Such a blessing coming my way. Our way.

(speaking of angels!)

Speaking of angels!